Thursday, October 20, 2011

31 Days to Settle in After a Move: Accept the Imperfections

This will never be like your last house.
...or base, town, school, church, neighborhood...

Moving constantly in the military we have discovered wonderful friends and crappy neighbors, shiny new appliances and lead paint warnings, scorching deserts and freezing snow. I've gotten to sew in a huge studio, a garage, a closet, a bedroom and a dining room. Each new set of orders brought a sense of adventure and a feeling of sorrow.

You miss your friends, your job, your old house, the weather, the neighbors, you name it - I have missed it.  When you move, everything changes, and sometimes you just need to change your state of mind. There is no sense in being miserable and hating your new place, even if you're only going to be there for a short time. Accept the imperfections, and if you can't learn to love it, learn to make do until you can. (check out the nesters wonderful  31 day series on lovely limitations for inspiration on making do) After all, how can you settle into your new home when you still haven't let go of the old one?

It's okay to reminisce, but try not to do too much comparing. That will just depress you and annoy everyone around you. 
Those of us who are military all know someone who starts every other sentence with:
"when we were stationed in..." 
"at my old base..."
"when I was at..."

Please, don't be that person.


  1. Ouch! I'm a reader, and something that has helped me (though I still have a ways to go) in this area was attending a seminar on grieving and reading books on cross-cultural adjustment and re-entry (even if your move isn't across national borders, there are probably transferable concepts).

    I also keep a gratitude journal, trying to list what I'm thankful for, looking for the new things I have HERE that I didn't have THERE.

    Thanks again!

  2. -J,
    Ouch? was I too harsh? Sorry!
    I keep a gratitude journal too, and I find it helps me keep a balanced perspective.
    I have never lived out of the country - but I have experienced plenty of culture shock with some of our moves, lol! Thanks for the great tips!


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